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Anguish
This is Chapter Twenty Six of Danganronpa: Anguish & Desire, Future Time!. In this chapter, Ken and his fellow Ultimates are faced with the conclusion of the class trial, and an execution takes place. Author's Note: #Fitz4EveryUFSWCategoryThisYear The room falls quiet as Obinata lays his assertion out. Time froze, and I found myself at a loss for words; everyone’s eyes rested on me. Whether disbelief, or disgust, eight pairs of eyes dug their way deep into my skin. Obinata leans forward with a smirk on his face. It’s so...evil. “So, Ken, what do you say?” I had got lost in his eyes; his sharp eyes breached my armour, and I was left standing their like an idiot. His question brings me back to reality though, and my eyes fall from him to Shiomi. “I…” “Don’t be stupid, Obinata,” Rai says, crossing their arms. “There’s no way--!” “I wasn’t asking you, pipsqueak. I wanna hear what Ken has to say for himself.” “It wasn’t me.” “Oh…?” “It wasn’t me.” Obinata nods to himself. “I see, of course not. Then, would you mind doing me a favor?” … As my gaze falls back to Obinata, out of the corner of my eye I see Rai, Yuka watching the scene intently. Rai’s beginning to tremble, like they do when they’re scared, and Yuka hangs her head low to the ground, with her head toward Obinata. “Can you pull your left sleeve up?” … Huh? He wants me to, what…? No, but I -- if I do that, they’ll suspect me. They’ll think I did it. “If you have nothing to hide, then show me your scars.” “Wait a minute,” Rai exclaims, leaning forward. “How do you know about that--?!” “Know about what?” Azama asks, tilting her head. “What are you guys talking about?” But if I don’t do it, they’ll suspect me. But, I… “It’s nothing,” Rai says. “Answer the question, Obinata--!” “Does it matter how I know? Or is it more important to know how he got those scars on his arm?” … “Ken-chi, what’s he talking about?” “The longer you stand there staring at the ground, the more suspicious you look,” Obinata says -- it’s like he’s teasing me now. Like he’s got me where he wants me. And he does. I know it -- the way my mind screams at me to run away proves it. I know I didn’t kill Sasada or Saishi, but… Rai’s hand falls on top my shoulder and they lean. “Tell them.” Rai’s voice is a hushed whisper, just loud enough for Satoshi to hear...probably. It’s enough to warrant suspicion from the others though. “What’s wrong?” Shiomi asks. I find myself nodding to Rai, who half-heartedly smiles and returns to their stand. I sigh to myself and slowly roll up my sleeve. The white bandage that Rai put on earlier is stained red now, and… ...it’s embarrassing. Super embarrassing. It wasn’t a cry for help. They’re gonna think it was a cry for help. They’re going to treat me like a fragile baby now. They’re going to think I killed them. “What happened, Ken?” Obinata asks. “I got into a fight with my bathroom mirror, that’s all.” I hear Azama sigh loudly -- I think she’s doing it on purpose. “Again, Ku-chan?” “''Again''?” Rai repeats. ...Rai’s glaring at me. I feel it. “It’s nothing,” I mumble. “Happy, Obinata?” “Quite,” he says. ...he doesn’t sound satisfied. “I am not the killer, Obinata.” “Really? Why’d you get all quiet then -- why did all of your charisma disappear?” Because you’re accusing me of--! “Geez I wonder,” Rai mumbles. “Seriously, it’s impossible.” “Again, I say we look to Shiomi for a response for that,” Obinata pauses and turns to Shiomi, who so far stood quiet with his shoulders slouched. Upon hearing his name, he looks back up to me. “Tani, right?” “Indeed,” Obinata says. “Much like Saishi, Ken isn’t someone who I want to suspect, but rather...have to. All evidence leads to him.” All...evidence…? “What’s that supposed to mean?” Satoshi asks. “He was one of the only ones trying to steer us in the right direction…” “That is correct,” Obinata says. “But have you noticed anything peculiar about his line of reasoning?” There’s a silence. A heavy one. … I don’t know what he’s trying to get at -- I didn’t do it! Sasada knows that. Saishi knows that. The true blackened knows that. “No one? Really?” But...how can I prove it to them? “Just...stop,” Yuka pouts. “He didn’t do it--!” “He has not brought up the motive.” I haven’t -- I, what does this have to do with anything…?! “I see,” Nakamoto mumbles. Y-You see?! “I knew it,” he continues. “It all revolves around Nakata-chi! It makes sense!” I find myself biting my lip. “What about her? MonoMech has her.” “The motive, Ken-chi. Whoever escapes takes Nakata-chi with her.” “And the bonus money, too,” Obinata pipes up. “Ken is dirt poor, no? It’s a win-win for him.” But--! I’d never do something like that for money. “I’m sure you had a lot of questions you wanted to ask Nakata,” Obinata says. “I understand you two were close, but…” “I. Didn’t. Do. It.” “Ken-chi, just give up,” Nakamoto sighs. “You’re a good kid, but it’s best to not get riled up…” “It always goes back to the motive,” Shiomi says, letting his head fall. “It always goes back…” “Shiomi, I didn’t--!” “Here’s what I think happened,” Obinata says, scratching his chin. “I think, last night you got scared. You wanted answers, you felt guilty. So, you decide to take action. You drop off this note in Tomori’s room, and go to the pool. Sometime later, Sasada and Saishi show up.” “Ken-chi’d be able to take ‘em,” Nakamoto sighs. “He’s not strong, but he’s quick. And Saishi-chi and Sasada-chi are no fighters.” “Oh, and what, he hoisted Saishi up on the light by himself?” Rai asks. I can taste the sarcasm from here. “Please stop fighting--!” Yuka exclaims from beside Rai. “I’m so tired…” “Yuka, it’s okay,” Obinata says. “We’re almost done here.” He offers a sly smile in her direction -- and Yuka, with tears in the corner of her eyes -- shakes her head. “Please, don’t.” “What’s going on here…?” Tomori asks, leaning next to him. “Don’t meddle in other people’s business, traitor,” Obinata says. “Let’s not get too off-topic,” Satoshi pipes up from beside me. “Going off of what Kitoaji said, when Ken and I tried to take down Saishi’s body to investigate, the both of us couldn’t even do it.” “And without a chair or help, it’d be impossible for him to get him up there,” Azama says. “What if he did have help?” Nakamoto asks, snapping his fingers. “What if Nakata-chi helped--!” … “Don’t be stupid,” Rai says. “Plus, uh…” Stop, Rai. It’s okay. I find myself reaching forward and grabbing Rai’s hand. I feel Rai’s grip around my hand tighten, and my shaking ceases, if only for a moment. “Why is he being so quiet?” Obinata’s voice is sharp, accusatory. “Why won’t you just speak to us -- we’re trying to get out of this, together, aren’t we?” Why…? Why do you think it was me? I use my free hand to point in his direction. “Obinata, weren’t you the one who kept saying, ‘don’t let emotions dictate your actions here’?” He rubs his chin. “I believe that was me, correct.” “Then why -- this trial, last trial, all you’ve been doing is letting your judgement be clouded. First Sasada, then Saishi, a-and now me. Why -- what’s going on?!” “My judgement is not being clouded, I assure you. Now if you’d let me continue...I believe the motive is everything this time. It always is; for example, Shiho and the traitor were scared for their lives, Tani was scared for her bandmates, and this time, well, it’s not like I have any need for money. I also hate Nakata.” “So you’re saying it can’t be you, got it,” Shiomi mumbles. “Anyways, Ken here probably felt guilty over what happened to Nakata -- I mean, who knows what MonoMech is doing to her right now. Torture, maybe?” St-Stop it--! “Don’t say that -- she’s fine. She’s fine.” “And how could you be so sure, Ken?” “I--!” “You two, please stop for a moment!” Satoshi’s voice cuts me off, and when I turn to face him, he’s already cowering back in his stand. “It, uh, looks like Azama wants to say something…” He brushes his hair out from in front of his face and my eyes land on Azama next. “Thank you, Satoshi. I wasn’t sure if anyone was going to give me the opportunity.” “No problem!” he exclaims. “So, here’s what I think -- Ku-chan couldn’t have done it,” Azama says. “And, it’s pretty obvious why.” A-Azama…? “Don’t you have something to tell them, Ku-chan?” She smirks and her eyes find mine. It’s like she’s telling me to prove it to them. But--ah, I see. “I do have an alibi,” I say, looking back down to the stand. “You do?” Shiomi asks. “It coincides with Azama’s. Can I just confirm something?” “Of course, Ku-chan.” “When you got the note, how long did you wait to get the rest of us?” “Instantly.” I nod. So, that means… “At that time, Rai and I were together. We’d been awake for...a while, just talking.” Rai nods and giggles. “And I woke up on top of Ken! So there was no way he escaped me to deliver the note.” … “Too much information,” Tomori sighs. “Way too much.” Obinata chuckles to himself. “Even so, how do we know the two aren’t in on it together? What if, you two decide, ‘one of us have to get out of here,’ so you stage this?” “You’re still on this?” Azama asks. “There’s no reason for an accomplice, remember? One of them would still die.” “Then, one is about to betray the other…” Y-You bastard. I find my teeth gritting -- how dare he--?! “I’d never hurt Rai.” Rai nods. “I’d never let someone lay a finger on Ken.” “Oh, come on guys. Look, I don’t like being the bad guy here, but someone’s gotta. If we don’t get this right, then we all die. I say we just vote for Ken and be done, okay?” “No way,” Tomori says. “That’s too risky--!” “Any of the four, actually,” Obinata corrects. “Ken, Kitoaji, Azama, Tomori...any of them works, really.” “That’s even riskier--!” Nakamoto exclaims. “Are you sure about this, Obi-chi?” “Certain. There’s just no more clues left...this is all that we can do.” … “Is there really nothing?” Rai asks. “There must be something we missed,” Shiomi sighs. “But there isn’t, I just--!” W-Wait a minute--! “Hold that thought, Nakamoto.” Azama tilts her head. “Ku-chan?” Why -- why hadn’t we brought it up before? My eyes scan the room until they fall on a certain pink-haired DJ. When my eyes meet hers, she gives me a half-smirk and closes her eyes. “Yuka, can I ask you something?” She nods her head, and I continue. “Before, without seeing the note, you told Rai and I that you knew Tomori was supposed to die, right?” She nods again. “That’s correct, Big Brother Ken!” “Is that true…?” Nakamoto asks. “I...I’m sorry for not saying anything earlier,” Yuka says. She bites her lower lip. “I got...scared.” Shiomi gasps. “Wait, so did you--!” She shakes her head, this time. “No, I didn’t kill Sai-chan or Sa-chan. I...loved them. Sai-chan was really kind to me, and listened to me when I needed to talk.” “Then, how’d you know--?” Tomori’s question get cut off when Yuka whimpers. “I’ll...tell you guys. I was just scared.” “What happened?” Satoshi asks. When Yuka turns back to me, I only offer her a quick smile. “It’s okay, Yuka,” It was two hours after nighttime, and, I was scared. I remember I couldn’t stop crying that night, like, at all. I cried and cried and cried because I felt it coming. I felt that someone close to me was going to die, so, I went to Saishi’s room. Saishi had told me that if I was ever scared -- if I ever was down -- to knock as hard as I can! So, I did, and he answered instantly. It was like he was waiting for me. His hair was all messy, his glasses were crooked, and when he saw me, his face brightened. “Yuka! How wonderful -- come on in!” He invited me in, and we had a good time, up until Sasada showed up. “Wh-What’s wrong--?!” Sasada held the note tight. “He’s making his move...we need to stop him.” I jumped forward. “Who is -- what’s happening?” She wouldn’t tell me who, she just span around as she handed Saishi the note. “He’s going to kill Tomori. I’m going to talk to him.” “Wh-What?! That’s insane, Sasada!” “I want you to come with me. Please.” Saishi looked trouble -- he didn’t wanna go! But, he turned back to me and said, “Yuka, go back to your room, please. We’ll talk in the morning.” It was the most serious I’d ever seen him, like, ever! I didn’t know what was going on; he wouldn’t tell me. No one would. So, I went back to my room, until… “Until the morning?” Tomori asks. Yuka stares at the ground for a few moments, before nodding. “Y-Yes.” … “Yuka, please. Is there something else you know? Anything?” She looks back to me. “I…” “No, there isn’t,” Obinata says. “Right, Yuka?” … “I wasn’t talking to you, pipsqueak.” There’s a pause in the trial room, and, well I… ...I can’t believe I just said that. I didn’t mean to, it just came out, and, and, and...the glare Obinata’s giving me scares me. On the other hand… ...the sounds of Rai, Tomori, Yuka, and Satoshi’s laughs echoing throughout the gymnasium kinda makes it worth it. Still, though… “S-Sorry, Obinata…” Obinata clicks his tongue and crosses his arms. “I’m saying this because I like you Ken; don’t say anything like that to me again.” His voice is venomous; and it reminds me of why I don’t trust him. Why I dislike him. It’s because he’s so intimidating, so...uncaring. “Guys, stop,” Shiomi says. “Yuka, what else is there?” Yuka looks back down to the ground. “I...I’m scared. I don’t know I can say, Isa-chan.” “Then say nothing.” “Obi-chi, what’re you doing…?” Nakamoto asks. “If it’s information then we need it!” “It’s a guy,” Tomori mumbles. “Sasada said, ‘he’s going to strike’, right Yuka?” Yuka nods. “And since Rabbit and Kitoaji over here have alibis, what about the rest of ya?” … I see. “What…?” Shiomi asks. I tilt my head. “So you’re saying it’s either Satoshi, Shiomi, Nakamoto, or Obinata, right Tomori?” “Yes.” “W-Wait, I--!” Satoshi’s quickly cut off by Tomori. “I’m not accusin’ ya, my child. You and Rabbit have already proven us why it can’t be you.” “We did…?” Satoshi asks, his voice a tad more shaky now. I nod. “You mean when we had trouble with investigating Saishi’s body?” Tomori nods. “Yes, but...the other three, I don’t know about…” Nakamoto steps forward quickly. “C-Couldn’t have been me, Tomori-chi! I don’t have a bad bone in my body, just ask my momma!” “Too bad she isn’t here,” Azama says, crossing her arms. She moves on quickly to Shiomi though, who stands beside her. “You?” Shiomi -- for a split-second -- looks offended. “A-Azama, you don’t think I…?” “Why did you choose to believe Obinata’s blatant lie about it being a suicide then? Why did you give it no second thought?” He turns away from her. “I just...don’t wanna do this anymore.” Obinata clears his throat. “Then let’s end it for you. Vote Shiomi.” … W-What…? Shiomi’s face drops. “N-No, that’s not what I -- I didn’t do it.” “Are we voting?” MonoMech asks. “I’m getnig soooo bored! I almost forgot I was here!” “No,” Rai mumbles. “We’re not done!” … I’m getting tired of this. Nakamoto, Shiomi, or Obinata… ...it looks pretty clear at this point. “Obinata, just stop.” Obinata -- whose wide smirk has been slowly fading throughout this latter arc of the trial -- is finally done. He’s not smiling, he’s not teasing, in fact, his face is now beat red. He sighs as our eyes meet, and he’s quick to turn away. “Stop what?” “All of this. It’s you, isn’t it?” Nakamoto’s gasp echoes throughout the gymnasium. “N-No! Ken-chi, it can’t be Obi-chi, right? Obi-chi, tell ‘em!” Obinata sighs again, and instead of responding to Nakamoto, he looks back up to us. “What makes you say that?” “Just...everything.” “Wait, Ken-chi, don’t--!” Nakamoto runs his hands through his hair feverishly; he’s beginning to shake. “It wasn’t him!” I… ...I’m sorry, Nakamoto. I need to do this. “Everything, Obinata. From the way you started planting seeds about the murder being a suicide, the way you refused to listen to reason and tried to throw us off. The way you kept hushing Yuka; you were the only person strong enough to lift Saishi that goes with the rest of the evidence.” Obinata remains quiet for a moment. It was like he had finally given up; like he couldn’t find the right words. But then, he turned to Yuka. “Yuka…?” He sounds...broken. She snaps to attention. “Y-Yes, Obi-chan?” “Tell them...everything.” … With a nod, Yuka half-heartedly turns back to the rest of us. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys earlier, but…” I was scared. After Sai-chan kicked me out, I didn’t go back to my bed. I couldn’t; I was scared. I left my door open, and I waited. When I finally saw Sai-chan and Sa-chan walking down the hallway, I followed them. Not right away, no. I waited for them to disappear around the corner, and then I went. By the time I had caught up to them in front of the lockers, Sai-chan was standing guard by the door leading to the pool. I didn’t know where Sa-chan was, so I waited. And then… ...I heard a scream. I heard Sa-chan scream. I got scared so I turned away, and… ...I heard Sai-chan screaming, “Don’t touch her -- don’t hurt her!” Then he went quiet. So, I waited. I waited and waited and waited and when neither Sa-chan or Sai-chan came out, I went in. But… ...when I went in, Sa-chan was floating in the pool, and Sai-chan was unconscious and bleeding by Obi-chan’s feet. I froze, and Obi-chan saw me. “Yuka, I…” I started crying and crying and crying and it wasn’t until Obinata grabbed hold of my shoulders that I wasn't scared anymore. But when he held me, I felt...safe. “Don’t tell anyone, Yuka.” “B-But you, I--!” “Saishi isn’t dead, okay? Now promise me -- promise me that you won’t tell. Don’t tell them that I killed the traitor.” “The traitor…?” “You understand, right? Sasada was the traitor. That’s how she knew.” “But if I don’t tell them, then--!” He stopped me, and he placed his hands over my lips. “Don’t tell them. The limit is two, correct? Saishi is still alive, so I have no reason to not kill you right now, understood…?” “Please don’t hurt Sai-chan, Obi-chan!” “I don’t know what I’m going to do, so just go back to your room, okay? Before I change my mind.” So, I listened to him. I went back to my room and didn’t look back and now--Sai-chan’s dead! And it’s all because I didn’t try to help when I could! “It’s not your fault, Yuka,” Rai says, and I find myself nodding. “That wasn’t on you.” “W-W-Wait, it’s not true,” Nakamoto spits. “It can’t be--! Obi-chi can’t be the blackened!” Satoshi frowns. “Nakamoto…” Nakamoto… “Obi-chi, just tell them, please…” Nakamoto’s voice cracks as a stream of tears falls down his cheek. “Tell them it’s not you -- I’m begging you!” “Na-Nakamoto, what’s wrong--?” “Nakamoto, I am sorry,” Obinata says, shoving his hands in his pockets. “It’s true.” … Obinata… “B-But, why--?” Obinata shrugs his shoulders. “It was for revenge. Plain and simple.” “Revenge…?” Shiomi asks. Obinata nods, and notions to Tomori who stands beside him. “It was meant to be her.” Tomori simply rolls her eyes. “Figures…” “But then...she showed up...” “What are you doing here, Sasada--?!” “To stop you.” She stood tall, for as short as she was. Her chest was puffed out, she had her hands curled in a fist -- it was the first time I’d seen her so lively. I was...intrigued. “How did you know I was here?” “What were you doing?” “Answer the question, Sasada--!” “What does it matter? I’m not going to let you go through with this.” I didn’t know what came over me, but, I was just so...shocked. I was shocked she had found me out, and I threw her into the pool. I didn’t mean to hurt her -- I didn’t realize she didn’t know how to swim until it was too late. “Too late?” Azama asks. She started flailing around, and, it took me some time to realize what was going on. I didn’t mean to do it, and I was about to save her -- I was! But then… “Don’t touch her -- don’t hurt her!” Saishi had came in -- and he was charging me. He got the wrong impression and he attacked me...he’s not as strong as he looks, however. He fell into the pool after I knocked him out, but I didn’t want to kill him -- I pulled him out. However, by that point, Sasada was already dead, and well… ...you know the rest. “But that’s when I figured it out,” Obinata continues. “That’s how Sasada knew -- she was the traitor! She was the one who trapped us here, and she brought Saishi into her scheme -- it was to protect all of you!” … “You only came up with that to make yourself feel better,” Tomori mumbles. “You know damn well they weren’t against us.” Obinata chuckles dryly. “You know nothing, traitor,” he turns to MonoMech. “So tell us! How did I do -- did I kill the traitors?” MonoMech -- who lays back in his throne -- is silent. He’s silent for a good, long, while as Obinata waits for his answer. He’s smirking again, but not out of arrogance, I...don’t know what it is. But his smirk soon fades, as MonoMech erupts into a high-pitched laughter. “No, no! They were most definitely not the traitors! They were just two model students who fell victim to circumstance.” Obinata’s head drops. “I see...so I was wrong.” As I watch Obinata sigh to himself, out of the corner of my eye I see Nakamoto fall to his knees. The moment he touches the floor a thud echoes throughout the gymnasium. “St-Stop it--! Stop acting like you killed them!” he cries out. N-Nakamoto… “I am sorry,” Obinata says. “But, I...I never intended to get away with it. I didn’t want everyone here to die, I just…” “What? Got scared?” Tomori asks, crossing her arms. “Yes. Yes, I did. I didn’t want to die -- is that a problem?” She scoffs. “Isn’t that what you gave me shit for?” “I did what I did,” Obinata continues. “Now -- MonoMech! Do it; let’s cast our votes.” Satoshi shakes his head. “Obinata…” “About damn time, children! I thought we were gonna be here for ANOTHER chapter; you know the deal. Use the e-Handbook and select the person who you think to be the blackened! Will you make the right choice, or the despairingly wrong one?!” With that, each of our e-Handbooks buzz, and I take mine out of my pocket. I open it, and the screen shows the trial ground with a pixel of every one of us. I hesitate as my finger rests over the Obinata pixel. He did it. Obinata killed Saishi and Sasada. But… ...but, he didn’t mean to, right? So is it right to vote him…? Shut up Ken, shut up. He...did it. I gently press Obinata. Still, it’s not his fault. It isn’t Obinata’s fault. It’s… ...I look back up to MonoMech, who is looking at an e-Handbook of his own. Once the votes are tallied up, MonoMech nods to himself. “All right, all right, all the votes are in! Let us embark on a vote tallying mission! This is super exciting, right?!” … “Aw, but a super lame result! Zeshin Obinata, the Ultimate Fashion Designer got all but one vote! And...he is the blackened!” MonoMech nods to himself as Satoshi, Shiomi, and Azama all take a deep breath. “You guys are getting pretty good at this, ya know?! Though, Kei...you really shouldn’t vote for yourself, it might screw you one day!” Nakamoto slams his fist into the ground. “F-Fuck you--!” I find myself gritting my teeth. “Obinata -- damn you!” “Oh, are you upset, Ken? I apologize, I figure you’d be happy I’m leaving -- as would the lot of you.” “How could you say that…?!” “Even if I don’t like ya, I don’t want ya to die…” Tomori says. “O-Obi-chan, please--! Don’t go!” “I don’t wanna lose you, too,” Nakamoto says -- his voice cracks mid-sentence, and he forces himself to his feet. “First Mio-chi, I…” “It’ll be fine, Nakamoto,” Obinata says, and he leaves his stand. He stands tall, firm -- like he’s ready for anything -- and walks to Nakamoto, who meets him halfway. “You know what to do, don’t you?” Nakamoto stares at Obinata for a moment, but nods to himself. “Y-Yes, I do…” “Good.” Obinata’s quick to spin around to MonoMech. “Well then, MonoMech, shall we?” MonoMech nods his head feverishly. “It’s my favorite part, my favorite part! Zeshin Obinata, you have failed to get away with murder, and as such, you will be punished! Now, let’s give it everything we’ve got, it’s puuuunishment time!” Obinata--! Obinata stands tall in the center of the stage and smiles to himself. “Mio...let’s do this.” The chain latches itself around his ankle and hoists him off the ground. The chain drags him off of the stage -- right past Rai and I -- and out of the gymnasium. All that’s left to hear is the movement of the chains; Obinata was quiet the entire time. Like he had been expecting it. Like he was prepared for it. “T-The monitor--!” Satoshi suddenly exclaims. The monitor…? I quickly turn away from the gymnasium entrance back to the stage, where the monitor where we witnessed Tani’s friends’ death is set back up. … There’s a camera in the pool…? That’s, uh, embarrassing… ...but why is there a camera in the-- --oh. My questions were answered when Obinata plops into the pool. The chain keeps him held to the floor of the pool and the camera’s quick to zoom in on his face. His glasses are gone; his eyes are shut tight. But above all else, he looks calm. Then a second passes, and another, and another… ...and after the fifth second passes, his eyes shoot open. There’s fear written all over them. His mouth opens and he tries to shoot up back to the surface; he’s screaming. Bubbles surround him, and his eyes start to turn a bright red through the chlorine, and, after struggling for what seems like an eternity… ...he falls still. Silent. Dead. As the monitor shuts off, a scream erupts from beside Yuka. “Obi-chi--!” Nakamoto falls back to his knees and lets his face hit the wooden floor. I try to speak; but I can’t find my voice. He’s...actually gone. “O-Obinata...” Satoshi says, turning away from us. “He’s...dead…?” Rai mumbles, cupping their mouth.. “That was what we call: poetic justice!” MonoMech exclaims. “He drowned Ukon, so I drowned him. It’s an eye for an eye!” An eye for an eye… “Isn’t the expression, ‘an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind’?” Azama asks, placing her hands on her hips. “Sh-Shut up Kiyo! No one asked for you anyway -- you’re so plain.” “''Plain''?” You know, I hadn’t really noticed it until now, but… As I look upon the rest of the students; Nakamoto and Yuka are in tears again. Rai’s shaking, and Satoshi looks away from us with disgust. Shiomi remains silent, shaking his head to himself, but...Tomori and Azama are unfazed. Tomori wasn’t one to get scared in the first place, but, for Azama it’s uncharacteristically like her. The past few trials she ran on emotion; she would get scared and side with whoever made the most sense at that point. But today… ...she was strong. She let nothing blind her. … Why...can’t I be like her? When Obinata came after me, I should’ve been strong. I should’ve held my own, but I froze--! And now he’s dead. … “I’m going to bed,” I find myself mumbling, turning away from the others. “Ken, are you okay?” Satoshi asks -- and out of the corner of my eye I see him reaching for my sleeve -- so I slowly slide out of the way. “I’m sorry, I just need some time…” I hear Azama stomp her feet. “Ku-chan, wait. We need to talk.” My feet stop. “About what?” “Just, everything--! All of us, as a group.” … “Can’t we do it tomorrow?” Shiomi asks, his voice is hoarse. “Please? I…” I here Azama sigh. “Fine. Everyone better be on time to the morning meeting, okay?” “S-Sure,” Rai says. Yuka hiccups. “Sure, Kiyo-chan.” Good. I nod, and continue the long, cold, lonely walk back to my dorm. Sasada. Saishi. Obinata. They’re all gone. But above all, I couldn’t help but thinking about Sasada. She was so precious. She worked so hard to save us all from that disease; she never gave up. She promised to protect us. And now...in doing so...she’s dead. Gone. ...I can’t think about her. I can’t. By the time I found myself back in my room, I wasn’t alone anymore. A certain shortie slipped in behind me, and pressed their head against my shoulder. “Hi, Rai.” “Hi,” Rai mumbles into my shirt. “We need to talk.” You too…? “About what?” “Don’t play dumb. You said that after the trial you’d talk to me -- you’d tell me what’s wrong. Why you have those scars; why you’re acting all distant and scary again.” … “I’m sorry Rai, I…” “No!” With that exclamation, Rai’s arms wrap around my chest, and they trudge forward. I...don’t even fight it. I let Rai tackle me and when we land on my bed, their face is only inches from mine. Rai’s got me trapped by the arms, and… ...I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Rai. I try to look away from Rai, but no matter where I tried to look, all I saw was Rai’s big brown eyes. Rai’s voice quivers. “Why won’t you talk to me? You said I was the only one you can trust, right, so -- why?!” “I’m sorry.” “I don’t want an apology, I want you to talk, please.” “I’m so sorry--!” “Please Ken, what’s wrong -- tell me! I just want to help.” Sasada...she’s gone--! Nakata’s gone. Yosano is gone. They’re all gone...what are we supposed to do--?! We’re gonna--! … Huh…? Why is Rai…? Rai’s lips are on mine. They’re warm. … Wait--? Rai’s kissing me…? OhmygodwhatishappeningIcantdealwiththisRaiwhataredoing--?! When Rai pulls away, they open their eyes. There’s a small blush painted across their face, but Rai gently touches their lips; as if Rai’s shocked they just did that too. “Sorry, you started freaking out -- I didn’t know what to do,” Rai says, smiling to themself. “It looks like it worked, though!” With that, Rai giggles, and leans back in as if going for round two, and again Rai’s only inches away from me. “Can you please tell me?” … “I...just didn’t wanna lose anyone else.” Rai tilts their head ever-so-slightly. “Is that why you hurt yourself?” I find myself nodding. “I just broke, I’m sorry.” Rai shakes their head. “Don’t apologise for that Ken. I just don’t want you to carry this burden by yourself -- let me help you. I don’t want you to lose yourself.” … “Rai, can I ask you something?” “Only if you promise me you’ll get me if you ever need help ever! Got it?” “Y-Yes.” Rai furrows their eyebrows. “Say it.” “I promise.” “Then ask away.” I take a deep breath and Rai smiles. “After the first trial, you said that you ‘took too many’...I-I didn’t want to ask you about it before, but…” Rai nods their head and the smile is quick to fade. “No, it’s okay.” “If they’re important, we need to get you more, right?” Rai’s silent for a moment; but their smile is quick to return in full-form. “You’re an angel, you know that?” … Rai giggles. “You’re blushing~! You can’t even act all mad with me.” “Hmph.” “They’re for my migraines,” Rai says, and with that, they finally roll off of me, and when I turn to face them, Rai’s got their hands wrapped around me again. “Is this okay?” I gently nod, and Rai smiles. “Good. People tell me I’m too touchy, so when someone puts up with me, I get excited.” I let Rai pull me closer. “As long as you don’t kiss everyone like that.” Rai giggles again -- but this time, louder. “But yeah, I just get really bad migraines. And that morning my head was pounding...I felt like I could barely breathe. I panicked and took too many; my body threw them back up, though, and I got embarrassed and didn’t wanna go to the morning meeting.” *DING DONG BING BONG* “Excuse me students, it is officially 10:00 P.M.! That means it’s nighttime! The water will turn off in a few minutes, and don’t forget to lock your doors! We wouldn’t want anyone dying again would we? Puhuhuhu! Sleep tight! Rai smiles and looks up at the clock in my room. “Nighttime already?” I find myself sighing. “I guess so.” Rai nods and releases me from their hold. “I’ll see you in the morning, okay?” I nod as Rai rises to their feet. “Okay.” I roll over closer to where Rai stands, and they look down at me. “Listen Ken, I think I went pretty easy on you tonight. But, if I even sense you’re hurting yourself again I will come back here and kick your ass.” … I can’t help but laugh. Though not because Rai was funny, no… ...I was actually kinda scared. Rai’s voice just had so much conviction, and the way they glared at me was ominous and kinda threatening. “I won’t, I promise.” Rai gives me a thumbs up and turns away from me. “And, by the way, I don’t kiss everyone like that. That was my first time.” … The moment Rai closes to the door behind them, I find myself sliding underneath my covers. Rai kissed me. I was Rai’s first kiss. … If I were texting my sister, I probably wouldn’t even know what to write and just button mash. Because -- they kissed me! Rai kissed me! I’m actually so embarrassed I could die right now. My face is burning -- my entire body feels hot. I can’t believe it. … As time went on that night though, the effects of the kiss wore off and I stopped freaking out about it. And when that happened, the memories came flushing back. The memories of Sasada, Saishi, Obinata, Nakata… ...all of them. But, I was too tired to dwell on it. So, with the image of those four beautiful people locked in my mind, I fell into a deep, deep slumber. Category:Anguish & Desire Category:Anguish & Desire Chapters